You know when sometimes someone hasn't done anything in particular to you or against you, but you just don't like the person?

Well, I have a someone like that. It's a cyber friend, or should I say foe, and this person just irritates the living crap out of me. She is also an infertile and I got to know her on an infertility forum and started to read her blog. What bullshit. Seriously, this woman is majorly self absorbed and totally off the road. I have been reading her blog for some time now and sometimes I just smile at what she perceives to be her struggle. Yes, I agree she has had a hard time, and she has had many miscarriages and yes, she has spent thousands on fertility treatment, and at first your heart goes out to this woman, but then you get to know her and you soon realise that this person actually likes all the attention. And that she considers herself the queen of infertility/hurt/grief/you-name-it.

She regularly posts about accepting her infertile state but then a day later goes on about a friend who is pregnant and now she wants to end the friendship. I also noticed on the old forum that this person only comments or "talks" to you when you've had a setback. Only then will she bestow her attention on you, but for as long as you are moving forward and making progress she will ignore you completely. If you get pregnant you are completely out of her little clique. Until you have a miscarriage, then she and her friends are quick to send you a condolence gift (which you have to pay for yourself) while they get drunk on your expense. Some of you might begin to realise who I am writing about.

So, why do I continue reading her blog? I don't know. I usually just scan over the posts quickly and when she starts with her self-pitying I hit the back button.

But why does this person deserve to be posted about by me? Well, I think she just doesn't get it. I guess this is what your life is like when you don't have faith in God and when you are going through this journey all on your own. Yes, she has her DH and friends, but you can hear in her posts that she just doesn't get what it means if God carries you through the hard stuff. She is so far off it's actually funny and I know I shouldn't judge her for her beliefs, but she doesn't have any beliefs. She just believes in her own pain and suffering to make her feel special (and VL of course).

But I took a Christian step and decided today to pray for her. Not to have a baby, I'll pray for that too, but for her salvation and so that she too can see the light. I know about fertility struggles and I know about the longing and the unanswered questions and I know about the dreaded miscarriages and I know about pregnancy anxiety. I don't know everything about it, but there is one issue I know more of than she does and that is faith and the power of the tongue. Can she not see that see is speaking all these bad things over herself? The tongue is a mighty and dangerous weapon and she uses it in a negative way on herself and her life everyday.

Here are 3 quick versus I just downloaded from e-sw.ord:

James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire,a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

She recently did an IVF and by the way she was writing about it I could easily see it wasn't going to be a success. She was moaning and groaning about it all the time and she was saying how distraught she was going to feel WHEN it failed. If you talk like this, lady, IT WILL FAIL. Every single time.

I guess I am prejudiced towards her because I don't like her, and I openly confess to you all that I don't like this woman, but I am going to pray for her. Maybe then I'll like her a bit more, and maybe she will slowly realise these things are in God's hands and that she should put her trust in Him and Him only.

Those of you who hate me for not liking her and the way she adores herself, feel free to comment. Those who agree with me, I knew you would.