This was not the Plan!! Today I am feeling the downwards acceleration of the rollercoaster ride called Grief. Yesterday I was so pleased to be having my period on time and the fact that it marked the beginning of the first new cycle was very exciting, but today I am feeling angry again. This was not the plan for goodness sake!
I am supposed to be almost 30 weeks pregnant by now. I am supposed to be nesting. I am supposed to be feeling my baby move and kick me. This was not the plan!
For some background, here are some words I would use to describe myself: perfectionist, planner, organiser, budgeter, realy irritatingly stubborn. So as you can imagine when things don't go according to plan I tend to freak out. I like an organised life without surprises - yeah I know I am the born Accountant type...
So as I was lying in bed last night I was thinking about how nothing has worked out as I had planned. And what makes me angry is the fact that there is nothing I can do about it.
I can make all the plans in the world but nothing will change the fact that it's two years later and I am still childless.
It just totally infuriates me. I am a PMS devil woman today.
No comments:
Post a Comment